On Mental Health

I think I had a happy childhood despite my mother’s illness and early death. My father was a cultured man, and a nurturing figure in my life that in a way balanced the loos of my mother. He was also my mentor and my inspiration; a very conservative individual, who never contemplated that a formal scholastic education was appropriate for his daughters, and that for me, was something which became a void in my life, and implanted the idea in my mind, that at some point in my life I would fulfill.

Growing up in many different countries, meeting important and powerful political personalities, as well as interesting artistic personalities of all areas of art, being exposed to people from all over the world, and different cultures, languages and ways of life, was all I knew. Life to me was a series of wonderful experiences. I was encouraged to take art classes, and I believed that being pleasant and happy was all that was expected of me. I was a good daughter, an informal student, that became a wife and a mother, and under those premises, I did believe that I would always be sheltered and taken care of.

I was still young when the sudden deaths of both my father and husband in a matter of 30 days apart from each other, changed everything in my life. I had two young children whom I adore, and no formal education other than a few fine and liberal art courses, traveling and world experience. Nothing had prepared me for what was coming next.

A few years later following their deaths, after taking decisions by myself, and going into odd and bad investments, I found myself facing the fact that I needed to work. Although, nothing I had learned before had prepared me like my husband to be part of the corporate world, or the international life I knew, or even a way to enter the work force.

My first real job was working as a sales person, a work that I used to referent to, as a ‘glorified help’, but that “glorified help” sprung me to the world of retailing. Shortly, with the background of my culture, informal formation, plus gaining sales experience I was able to enter the interior design world. I took college courses plus applying some discipline, I soon I became a good designer. I worked hard and long hours, and I was able to take care of my children, my two boys who have always being the force behind my life.

Although, I have taken some college courses here and there during my life, I lacked the formal scholastic education that I always longed for. This brought me into making the decision to go back to college and seek a Bachelor degree education with perseverance and passion. I had traced the plan in my mind that once my older son went through college, -he got a B.A. in Economics at Saint John’s University-, it would be the time for me to go back to college. So, I did. I enrolled in night classes, and I was delighted to be back to school. Finally, I had found my niche!

When I was in my sophomore year, my older son found himself in the midst of an ordeal. He had worked for few years after college with an Investment Company, although, he decided that it was too stressing and it was not for him. He went back to College to start his Master degree. That summer he was not feeling good and soon after, he was back home with anxiety, panic attacks, and a serious clinical depression. Devastated and scared, and not understanding what was happening to him, I decided to extend my studies and to take as many courses in psychology I might need, to learn about what was happening to him. Soon, psychology was more important to me than my other courses.

By then, I was starting to understand that this was a long illness, he had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, other doctors mentioned that he could be bipolar, all complicated with comorbidities as anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, O.C.D.

It took a couple of years and lots of ups and downs, but finally it appeared that he was stabilized, so I was able to work part-time, and also able to get my B.A. at Barry University with excellent grades and a double Major in Humanities and most important, Psychology.

My studies helped me to keep my keel steady. I decide to stay in school and started my M.A. in Florida, where I was living at the time. I think that was what made my younger son enter college, and finally get his degree in Cinematography.

Even though my older son was medically regimented, he was in and out of crisis, which forced me to look for a better care system for him. After much research I founded that California had a more comprehensive mental health system than most States, therefore, that, and the fact that my younger sister lived there, where the reasons that brought me to California.

I came to live close to my sister, and in a matter of days I was hired as an Interior Designer in Salinas, CA, but soon, the country entered in a recession that made my work short-lived. The area where my sister lived was very expensive, so I decided to move to the Santa Rosa -Sonoma area, where I have extended family. I moved the family again and I started searching for jobs outside design. Thankfully, I was hired as a bi-cultural, bi-lingual Family Advocate and had an internship with a County Mental Health Institution. Changing careers was good, my son was more stable and I was able to work in the mental health field.

Once settling in the Santa Rosa Sonoma area, I decided to finish my interrupted graduate school. In my research for schools, I found that SSU offered a M.A. in Spanish Literature and Linguistics, and everything started to make sense to me. I was working in an area were bi-linguism and translations were vital, so I had no need to keep on searching. That would also help me as well to work on my native language, and prepared me to start to write my book.

I started graduate school the summer of 2011, and even though I had some serious health problems, I reached my dream, finished two years later and I felt complete. Life was training me to be perseverant and focus to be able to achieve my goals and my dreams, without stepping away of the responsibility of being the caregiver of my older son.

My baby, my youngest son is doing great, he has a family: a wife who loves and respect him , as well as she is a great mother. They have three children who are the apple of my eye and the reason why I left California, a place I thought it would be my last destination, and moved to Texas with my older son who benefits of having his younger brother and his family in his life, and where life was expecting me with the gift of being close to my younger son and his family. Here I did return to a successful career in Design, I rapid excelled, and after a couple of years of exponential sales, I was hand-picked and hired by a smaller company starting a gallery in the area. I thought it would be easier work in a slower pace environment, although, it did not work that way, in a matter of less than a year they crushed my career and send me to retirement.

Nevertheless, I always found that even when life has thrown often to me curve balls and unexpected changes, every one of those events had always handed me gifts. I learned to seek for the gifts, that probably is the reason I do bounce back to different and interesting new experiences. This last one, it has given me the time to reach back in to my memory sack and started to write again. One of my stronger urges!

For decades I have being contemplating the idea to write about my life experiences, my survivals, my achievements and my sorrows, with the idea that maybe by doing so, I could be able to turn on a light for others to follow the path, maybe this it’s my last call, my last hurdle before I reach the final destination.

I really would love to see my efforts bear a fruit. The idea that my writings will be read by someone else and in the midst, that someone might benefit learning that happiness and sense of accomplishment go hand on hand, that every painful situation bring you something to learn and to enrich one life, that difficulties or shocking experiences are here to bring you a gift on its hands, and in order to find the gift, one have to open the heart and let that storm in.

Edited by Violeta Lytton

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